I really don't know what I want anymore. Eric and I get along so great but I really don't want to get hurt and I am afraid that if I pursue this relationship then I will get hurt. First there is the whole age thing. He's 17 and I'm 15. Sometimes I feel like I am a kid around him and i hate feeling like that. Then there is the fact that we never seem completely comfortable with one another. It usually feels akward and it sometimes feels like we are forcing it to work. We will just sit on my couch and like hold hands but sometimes is like stiff. I don't know. I think that it should just be natural but it really isn't. I hate to say it but I think I am a rebound for him. His last girlfriend broke up with him before school ended so that she could go out with her ex-boyfriend but I'm not so sure that she is over him either. She still has a picture of the two of them up on her Myspace from when they were going out and the caption still says "fun night". I really do hate this relationship stuff and I wish it were easier but I guess its not. I feel stupid doubting this relationship but I am really sick of getting hurt by guys who never liked me in the first place. Sometimes it feels like our friends are controlling what happens in our relationship. Gabby told him to hold my hand and sure enough, the next date that we went on, he held my hand the whole time. I seriously have no idea what I am going anymore.
-Nicole
